dreamincaligirl

Okay…I am so happy!  I got on the scale and I lost some more.  My goal is 2 lbs a week and I was so unsuccesful lately that I worry when it comes to the little black disc sitting in my bathroom corner.  (I think I need to give him a name…like Rasputin or Hitler or Lenin or something)  Anway, there was a loss and I’m not even done with the week yet (1.5 down so far)!  I have a tendency to weigh every day.  They say you shouldn’t but some say that people who step on the scale are more aware of their weight and don’t gain as much as those who never step on the scale.  I find this true in my case.

 The last time I “life style changed” (I don’t diet anymore) and was successful, I would get on the scale dreading the news.  Then would be pleasantly surprised when week after week I saw some loss.  It was usually a consistent 2 lbs.  That is good, cause over time 2 lbs is 8 in 30 days.  Then 16 after 2 mo and so on and so on.  Some loss is better than notheing or gaining.  This time I told myself that if I just go back to WW then it IS a good diet and it DOES work, then instead of going backwards, I can go forwards.  So I am moving forward, foraging on and slashing the pounds as we speak.  Last week I started back here and was kinda down about it.  But today I am almost 4 lbs down in almost a 2 weeks period and happy as a clam.

I’m putting the nasty divorce behind me (finally) and going to make the ex feel totally stupid (well he already was) but this will be icing on the cake.  Anyway, my mental health is good.  I realize that is key to motivation.  Oh thank goodness I missed you motivation.  Now if I can just do that workout video I just purchased, then I’m really back on track.  But one step at a time.  Hope others have a great day like I am! 

Okay, so I have been going through this totally ridiculous divorce.  I’m the one that got cheated on, I’m the one that supported the moron, I’m the one that has raised the children by myself while he was of “working” (and living w/ his girlfriend) and etc.  But to hear him tell it…I did all those things.  Wow!  Can’t I be the victim just once??? (said with sarcasm).  Anyway, prior to the divorce while I was trying to make it work (and he wasn’t) I ate 20 lbs back onto my 50 lbs weight loss.  I realized this and have come back to BuddySlim.

So last night was another weak moment.  But I TOTALLY realized it while it was happening.  That is more than I did before.  As I ate that cheese quesadilla I was thinking to myself “this is so wrong” but kept on anyway.  Then had a bowl of cereal.  Okay, my goal is to NOT do that anymore.

Now that I saw myself doing it and actually mentally recognizing it I felt enlightened.  That was a huge step for me and something I want to avoid in the future.  I did well this week, except for this.  To me, this was a mentally destructive action that my butt will see later.  Anyway, I didn’t feel as guilty as normal.  Maybe cause I realized what the hell was going on.  So, I want to stay focused, lose the 20 lbs I gained and get back on track.  Let the ex realize what mistake he made.  (cause poor pathetic fool is being vengeful because he realized he screwed up a good thing)

This is a hurdle that I have had to climb since this divorce thing started.  Last night was the last night the ex is going to have that power over me.  Next time maybe I should ask him if he wants the cheesy quesadilla???

It has been ages since I was on here.  But I have to do something.  It appears, for me, that tracking my progress makes me more accountable, therefore, more successful.

 I have been gone because I injured myself while training last year for the 3-day and got plantar fascitis.  This is a serious injury and not funny.  It took 6 months to heal from this.  But my walking went to the wayside and all activity halted…suddenly.  Then I was faced with a divorce.  So I gained some weight from inactivity and a cheating husband.  Wow…how life throws you curve balls.

Anyway, I feel I am slowly coming out of my funk and realize I really need to get back to losing weight and exercising again.  I felt so much better physically and even mentally.  I stopped taking care of me and I realize that is never a good thing.  So I hope to get down to the weight I was at before my injury and then some.  I am lookfing forward to being back and hoping I will be successful as before.

Okay, maybe I’m being stupid and just don’t get it.  Maybe somebody can shed the light on the subject.  I actually use the food journal and it works great!  I use the exercise log from time to time…because I am frustrated. Does that thing just not calculate right?  Or is it me?

 I tried entering a new entry and have to toggle the numbers to get the right calories.  I got my calories from the machine at the gym.  I actually walked/jogged on the treadmill which give you your miles and calories burned after you enter your info.  Is it just me or am I working it wrong?  HEEEEEEEEELP!

Okay, I have to put this out there because the situation I am going to explain is about to drive me crazy and inside my head I am freaking out!  I’m freaking out because I am worried about my 12 year old boy.  My son loves to eat like the rest of us and over the years I have noticed he has a bad sweet tooth.  Bad…like worse than mine and I would say I am at a 7 and he is a 9 and maybe 10.  He is a tad shy of 5′ and weighs 140 lbs.  He wears a size 18 in boys and if you don’t know…that’s the last size in the children’s section and then your on to the adult sizes.  Some stuff I have had to buy in the adult sizes.  He does play football and when my husband and I dieted together the hubby and I lost 20 lbs and my son lost 5.  We noticed food missing too and after consulting each other realized it was him.  He wanted to diet too so it wasn’t like we were making him.  He has lost 1 lb since football and is now in a 16 because he has gained some muscle mass.  And I’m SO proud of him for that.  Now, I do know that kids change and boys (girls too) eat a lot.  BUT…he needs to eat healthy and I provide healthy and I preach healthy and I eat healthy.  I practice what I preach so to speak.  The weight isn’t a huge problem…but hind sight is 20/20 and I’m pre-diabetic and staring diabetes in the face.  Lose weight or get diabetes…that’s my sentence.  As you can see I’ve lost 25 lbs and counting.  It’s hard and nobody knows this more than me.  He works out at school and still goes on walks with me after work.  We have taken away the Playstation, DS and tv time and are more active and he goes next door and does active playing with the kids…he is actually I think, finding an alternative to the sedentary lifestyle of us “fluffy” Americans.

So what is the problem you ask?  He sneaks food constantly and does not fess up to it.  When confronted he won’t fess up still.  It’s obvious it’s him because there is no one else.  My problem is that it is bad stuff.  Hubby bought a pie and about 1/2 of it was consumed by the 12 year old in  a 2 day period.  Scary!!!  So hubby says he won’t buy it anymore and if he wants something he will buy a single serving for himself.  I told him good idea but we both agreed this is expensive but maybe necessary.  The pie is an example of most of the sweets in the house, when we have them.  So, I’m thinking make my low carb, sugarless sweets and only keep those on hand.  If it is something I can put in my room (I hate to say it) it is locked in there while we’re gone.  (sugar-free hot cocoa has to be locked up or he’ll consume 2-3 cups a day and not drink his water)  I would say we are at about a 90-95% junk food free home.

I am worried about the sneaking food and hiding it.  That is like closet eating to me and a form of a disorder.  I say this because I know in the past I would eat like this, with nobody watching or nobody to share with so I could have it all for myself.  But he has healthy choices if he is hungry and chooses to eat the bad ones.  He is educated.  It’s not like he doesn’t know.  Is this bad to lock food away?  Or does anyone have any ideas?  I need some help and guidance and I think the people on this website are the bomb!!!  I am just so worried and this is a road I don’t want him to travel cause I already traveled it.  You guys are great!  Any suggestions are helpful.